Life (and not the TV show)

Life is like an onion: You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.- Carl Sandburg

This was written at 1am, on Monday, November 30th.

I just spent a few days on Buenos Aires. I am now leaving this great city, heading north. I'm in one of those double deck buses, really comfortable, sitting on the second floor, front row. A vast windshield & side windows give me this 180 degrees view as we move forward.
The freeway is not busy at this hour, some trying to make it home, some trying to run away from it, some working, some trying to outrun their sorrows, but here we all are, all moving forward. Music is stimulating me through my earphones, and here I sit, write and take it all in.
Every time I look up from writing I see the lanes of the freeway stretching lazily ahead of me, as far as the eye can see, like a long smear of chalk and tar. I see the merging lanes, the carpool ones, the exits, the signs, all there, all ahead of me.
Just like life. Stretching ahead of me, at THIS very moment, I AM this moment, but I move forward. I pick the life lane i want, the speed I want to move at, the exit I want to take. We all do.
I've spent the week with so many beautifully creative people in this past few days. From the heights of Bolivia, the tropical heat of Brasil, the warmly cold Norwegians, from all over. All so different but all the same and all sharing the same light, all so great.
I realize now, looking back, that's what we ALL are, light and creation. We are here to share the light and create, create, create. We are creators. Each day we do it. Whether we are aware of it or not. We are creating, we are doing so with each choice we make, with each word we speak. I work hard, so my creations are not accidental, so they come from the light and are born to be bright.
Remember, with me each day: I am light. I am power to create.

All the time and money in the world.

How do I know what's my vocation in life?
If you had all the time and money in the world, what would you do? That's it.

Seems today that everything has to do with time and money and I believe to a degree it does. Many times I have said:"if I had the time and the money..." or, "well, it's easy for them/him/her to do that, they have the time and the money." however that it's not true, not in my case.
There are lots of things I care about, lots of issues, lots of causes and until recently I thought, well, i thought I cannot possibly make the difference. But I have realized that time and money are not what's stopping me from doing something about those things that matter to me.
We can all make a difference, if anything in our own lives and those surrounding us.
We are living in a beautiful world, full of treasures for US. (as in "all of us", not just those born in the U.S.) I am not here to preach, not the purpose of this blog. I just like to write down those thoughts that might be gone in a few years.
I was looking at the window today, smooth breeze, green trees, birds flying, clouds...and it's all mine. That's what I am talking about, my, our treasures. Add to that our families and friends and I know I am one lucky bastard.
At some point it dawn on me that unless I care for my surroundings the same way I care for my relationships, then I am in an abusive relationship. If I treat mother earth like someone that just gives, gives and gives without ever receiving any care or consideration from me, yes then I am the abuser on the relationship. And that just doesn't sit well with me.
Do I have all the time and money in the world to save the environment? Don't think so. But I don't need it.
If you think of our environment, the same way you think of a relationship with a loved one, well, you wouldn't treat it the way you do, neither will I, money or not. I can and will stop buying bottled water, but buy one permanent water bottle. I will grow greens every time I have a patch of land and if not visit my local farmer's market and support them. I will continue walking, taking public transportation, car-pooling, taking commercial flights (no more private jets for me, ha!)

I AM GOING TO SWEEP MOTHER EARTH FROM HER FEET. And like it happens with any other devoted lover, she will love me back as she has even when I haven't been so kind to her. By being better to her, I will be healthier, I will feel better.
I invite you to think about it, domestic violence? none of us stands for it. Well, isn't domestic violence to mistreat the home (Earth) we live in?
We don't need money and time, we need more awareness, a strong will and the answer to everything: loads of LOVE, to Pacha Mama, to ourselves.
Let's do this.

Gratitude

To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live gratitude is to touch Heaven.
Johannes A. Gaertner

Gratitude is more than a good word, it can become a way of living. Yes. It is one of those blog posts today.
Listen, putting all the bullshit aside, we all have it pretty good. Chances are that if you are reading this, you are doing it from home, work or a public library. That means you have a home, a job and a library where you live. That's pretty good.
I am not interested in going the "think of the people that have nothing" route. For once I decided to spend more time thinking about what I DO have and be thankful for it.
There was a man working on the roof of the place we are (regardless what that place is)outside, no protection from the elements so WE would have this roof now. Let's be thankful to him.
It's a simple thing. Not to think of what others are missing but to think of what we have and have GRATITUDE for it.
Let's make it a way of living. I am grateful for you reading to my rants. I am grateful for my life. I am grateful I can express myself.
Do join me in the gratitude-attitude tour. Starting now, to visit every place I am in.

I stink a while.

"Well, I put down a good amount of deodorant this morning
And I found that I could drown a bit of peace of mind.
'Cause it's no secret that to a some degree,
they are going to have to see you sweat.
Strong enough for a man, do what you can,
to keep me soft and dry, I stink a while."
JM-Running.

The stink a while part is quite true. I headed to Buenos Aires this past Monday, for just a 24 hours trip to see Mr. Jason Mraz in concert. Well, fast forward to me staying there all week, yeah, this morning when back I stunk, a while.
The show was quite incredible, 4 thousand screaming fans, including the expected crazy girl, running into stage, freaking out JM and being escorted out by security. To talk about his music it's like "dancing for architecture" it won't accomplish anything. Just hear it.
That amazing city is such a beautiful place, even its ugly sides are beautiful in all its pain.
The people are amazing, the food is delectable. Have a favorite place called "Pretty Girls" (in English) and besides an amazing staff and food I just find it hilarious. The place is called "Pretty Girls" has an all male staff and the age average is about 45-50 years old. Another reason to love it.
I have been thinking as always about a lot of things. It seems that being surrounded by people from so many different countries and backgrounds stimulates me. It is also weird, when in the States I have been surrounded by the same amount of people from so many different places. It got me thinking, why is it different here. And I don't have an answer for that.
It might be that here people take the time to talk, to sit down with you, to walk with you. To tell you their dreams and hopes and their longing for home. It might be that now I am the one taking the time to listen. It might be both.
Regardless, each face was a friend, each handshake or kiss a promise, each smile, hope.
Go out there, be a friend, a smile, hope to all those in your way today, and everyday. I will do the same.

And this week....

Well, this week has had all kind of things in store for me. All kind of things. Quick trip to Montevideo where I found the best bookstore ever that combines two of my passions: books and wine. In one place!! The place itself its an old recycled building, gorgeous, couches, grand piano, books, books and books and either champagne or wine to go with it. Epic WIN.
I also had moments of doubt but those went away quickly. Doubt its like this passing cloud that if you don't let it go away will turn into a storm, so away it went.
I had surprises galore, good and bad. Love fluttering in my life like humming birds. Big reminders that I am loved, crazy and loved regardless.
I saw first hand police brutality 2 feet away from me. I was on the main street of Salto when 3 young man got arrested. I have no idea what they did. They were hand-cuffed, laying on their stomachs with cops boots on their backs. When a police truck came to pick them up, the cops grabbed then by arms and legs, one cop on each side. Then they (on purpose) threw them on the trucks bed, HEAD first. There was another cop on the back of the truck waiting for them. He kept on kicking them on the ribs. After they had loaded all three of them, the two cops that had "thrown" them on the trucks bed, approached them and punched them on the face. WTF.
Then I saw a parade for the "Immigrant's day", people from different heritages, dressed in traditional costumes from their countries, awesome.
I also found out Jason Mraz added a new show in Buenos Aires this coming tuesday, so here I go.
I was reminded many times that love goes a long way. Love is a powerful force, it speaks for itself, it helps, it heals. I am thankful for the love in my life. It cannot be explained. It just is.
Invite love in your life. Let it guide you.

JUMP UP!!!!!

"You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life." Albert Camus

I am not exactly sure what happened over night or why I can't turn off the italics or bold options while I write, but let me assure you, it might have something to do with the fact that this should be bold & in italics.
If you read my previous blog, less that 24 hours ago I was pondering on the differences of being social or choosing solitude. Thinking about relationships and such.
Well, I was up until late, reading, thinking and inviting the dream masters to help me sleep and wake up to a new day.
And new day it is. It might be that the sun is shinning bright as opposed to the last rainy, cloudy days we've had, but I woke up fully energized, ready to jump and daring to do what I haven't in a long time, whatever that might be.
Today it's not a day of thinking through concepts, laws, principles, today I am going to LIVE THEM!!! and the best way possible.
Today I am not going to think how I love you, today I am LOVING you and telling you in as many ways as I can.
Today I won't be thinking of how to change the world and make it a better place for all, today I WILL help those around me, starting with myself, MAKING the world a better place.
You can't bring me down, you can't make me sad, you can't tell me its not doable. I am ALREADY all I want to be, just manifesting it one day at the time.

Solitude, Isolation, Saturation, Overload.

"Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is the richness of self." - May Sarton

I seem to have not found the balance between being social and being a hermit. I am by nature a social creature, I love to connect, to talk, to meet new people and treat all as my friends. The other side of the coin is that I also enjoy my own company very much. Don't get me wrong, I don't like to be lonely, but I enjoy solitude. I enjoy those moments when it's just me, my own thoughts, my favorite music and those long walks in the winding roads that are my thoughts.
I believe in being honest, with myself first and with everyone else in my life second. Sometimes I honestly want to be around everyone, friends and strangers, I want to mingle and talk and laugh. Sometimes that becomes too much and expected on top of it all, and well, let's face it, I am not good at delivering when something is expected of me. I respond to myself, FIRST.
When I feel that things are out of control, when I feel there's too much "noise" in my surroundings for me to even hear my own thoughts, then I retreat and keep myself company. I pamper myself, to a book, a glass of wine, a sunset that I can actually take in, in all its glory, without interruptions, without "noise."
I understand that makes it hard for people around me, well, to be around me. Let alone relationships. However I know with a certainty that I don't EVER want to be with anyone because he/she/it NEEDS me. I want to be with someone that WANTS to be with me, but doesn't need to. I don't buy in the "you complete me" bullshit. I don't want to complete anyone or be completed by anyone. I want someone that is already WHOLE. For that to happen, I need to be whole and believe me, I am working on that.
Where is this going? As always I am not sure.
Had a long weekend of family, friends & foes. And I am enjoying my solitude. Jason Mraz healing music, my tasty cigarette, Gabriel Garcia Marquez and my thoughts.
Take yourself out on a date, enjoy your own company, be whole and if you are happy that way...well, gimme a call, I might want to date you ;-)

well, this was complicated...

I am not quite sure what has happened but I finally was able to access my blog. To be truthful I didn't try too hard to get it done before. There has been a lot of things I wanted to write about but not bad enough to get it done.
Last night there was a summer storm, thunders, a bit of rain and today woke up to a gorgeous spring day. I was tracking the whole thing hour by hour on AccuWeather and was surprised at their accuracy, even to the hour.
Made me think of back in the day, when people would look at the moon, or feel the wind and tell you what they thought might be happening with the weather. Days when there was a lot more mystery, not everything there, at your fingertips for you to know and be prepared.
It also reminded me that the biggest mysteries are still out there. There is no "AccuSoul" or "AccuFuture" to tell you what's happening in those areas. But it seems to me that takes a lot of great work, to know what's going on within ourselves and therefore with our future. Each choice we make is like a ripple effect that will determine how the future events will turn out. I always try to be here, present and aware in this single moment. The only time I allow myself to peek into the future is when I make a choice today and I peek into the future to make sure I can deal with the consequences of my choices.
I've been reading lots of interesting theories about thoughts, souls, intention, attention. I have also recently discovered about the Noetic Science and it all seems to be opening doors, or shall I say, re-opening doors that already existed. Today science is trying to prove things my grandma, without any scientific knowledge knew as truths: intuition, our global connection, the existence of a bigger energy that bounds us all, the power of our thoughts and how they affect our reality and the true nature of what we call "reality." I am glad that slowly a lot of this things are being scientifically proven, not because I need this to know they are true, but just simply because I can wink to my grandma, wherever she might be and say :"grams, you were right."