HEART

Midnight ramblings.  I cannot, ever, get over the LOVE that is in this world.  I know, I know, you can always point out to me the hate and the wars and the tragedies.  However I will point out to you the love in your life, and mine and his and hers.
It is an overwhelming thing when you realize that there are people that care for you, think of you, hope for you.  As times goes by I have learned to understand that a) you are not obligated to love me and b) damn, I am a hard person to love.
I am aware of my flaws, many of them and the more I work on being a better person, the more I wonder why have people put up with me for so long.  Love comes in and whispers to me and tells me that you have done all that because you love me.
I have met a lot of people in my life in different countries, cultures, situations.  I have made it a point to treat each as a long lost friend.  I was just raised that way.  However, I now think that it was all of you all along treating me as a long lost friend, I was at the receiving end of the love fest.
I thank you for it.
Many things have happened in my life, good and bad, ugly and not, happy and sad.  I was reading a journal I wrote about 10 years ago, when I was seriously considering suicide and was constantly walking around followed by a gray cloud.  I read it and thought "what was I thinking?" and the answer is: I wasn't.  At the time that was my reality, despair, unhappiness and no light at the end of the tunnel. 
Now my reality is so different.  I am full of hope, full of joy and eating a big, tasty piece of HUMBLE pie.  I am loosing myself trying to help and love others and who knew? by doing this I am finding myself and my bliss.
If you know me, have no hesitation: I LOVE YOU.  If you don't know me, have no hesitation: I WILL LOVE YOU.
Now, pass it around.
Pablo

GRATITUDE

I don't even know how to put into words the feeling of gratitude, humility and appreciation this week has brought to me.  I will try my best to share with all of you.
Three days ago I "launched" what is a grain of sand in the ocean of hope: a small website designed to help others learn, share, empower and help each other to end human trafficking.  It is a big endeavor and a huge passion of mine.  There are 27 million people living in conditions of slavery around the world (in your community too, chances are) and I have decided to do something about it.  It's no use to feel there's nothing that I can possibly do and let things go on. It has taken me a long time to realize what I can do.  Through different experiences I realized what I am not. I am not an activist, I am not, nor do I intend to be another non profit organization.  What I really want is to help people learn about the issue, find out where they can help, know about all the organizations and brave individuals who are out there, fighting for those that can't.  So I know I aspire to be a communicator, a connector between people wanting to do something about this.
I thought I could get a website where there are all the resources for people and also where people can connect, share their stories, etc.  I also realized that I have no idea how to make a website, let alone making it nice.  I also realized I cannot let that little thing get on the way.  So I started and it's up and running! Check it here
The first version of the site was not as clear and organized as it looks now.  Here is where gratitude comes in.  I posted about the site on FaceBook and Twitter (you can follow me here) and withing three hours I had over a hundred hits.  People started messaging me and offering help.  Help was needed.  The first version of the site was really what you'd expect from a guy that has no idea what he is doing.  Then people from Australia, New Zealand, the States, Europe started pitching in.  Thanks to their help the site makes more sense. The went in, fixed it and did it in their own time, out of kindness.  I woke up the day after I had been telling people to check the site to a pile of emails, pictures, questions and I was blissfully panicked.
Took a minute to be grateful that people are getting it, that they are willing to join me in this adventure.
It is a simple thing, you go to the site, read, get informed, download a logo.  Then print it and get creative with it.  The whole goal of this is to start a conversation.  You can post it in your office and when people ask you tell them about the issue.  You can go out to landmarks, places around your town and post it.  People will ask and if you are not there, the poster has the site's address so they can find out more.
I am grateful that people are actually willing to do simple little things to learn and share and move towards a higher consciousness where we are aware of this issue as a community and can start making changes.
I thank you, for being part of this new army. We ARE a new army and we are armed with LOVE.
Pablo

Where does this road go to?

It is so comic to hear oneself called old, even at ninety I suppose! ~Alice James

Today we had rain and then sun and then cloudiness and now sun again.  Nature sure knows how to be moody at the moment.  Not that I blame it, if I was being mistreated for years upon years, well one day I would too loose it and be an emotional (climatic in Nature's case) mess.  So instead of complaining I think myself lucky to have 4 seasons in one day and also responsible to take better care of our planet, just to be kinder to it.
     Seems to me we are living in an age where everyone has a cause (even those that have no cause usually say:" screw it, I don't care about anything" that's their cause.)
     I am aware we are different from say my grandfather's days.  He would not think about raising awareness about global climate, modern day slavery to name a few.  But once again, my grandpa had a vegetable garden, never used plastic bags, there was a grocery bag at his house to take to the store & as I remember he always stood up for whats right.  He didn't do that because he read it in a book, or was an activist, he was not a special case, everyone from his generation lived a similar life.  Which got me thinking that we pride ourselves in being so smart, advanced, educated, tech-savvy and such, but we have missed the point in a lot of things that came naturally to generations before us.
     Talking to someone my grandpa's age (my grandpa died when I was a kid) he was telling me that in his family too they had a vegetable garden and lived a similar life.  He told me about the "three sisters."  Three Sisters is what they would call the growing of corn, beans and pumpkins.  The corn plant would provide a place for the bean's vines to grown on.  In turn the beans would oxigenate the earth where the corn plants were.  On top the pumpkin plant would provide shade for both of their shallow growing roots and keep weeds of the garden.  When harvested, you would have a lot of what your body needs by cooking with beans, corn and pumpkins.
They didn't go to a seminar to learn this, they didn't research it, or anything like it, it was common knowledge.
     Somewhere along the lines we lost that bounty of information.  Probably because we were too busy enjoying the new technologies, or watching TV or not believing what was coming from our elder's mouth because there was no scientific data to back it up or was not mentioned in our favorite tv show/magazine/blog.
     I feel I am lucky enough to have older relatives to call them, visit them, chat with them and ask them to share their wisdom with me.  More and more I find that a lot of things that we are "discovering" now, were already common knowledge for our elder ones and we chose not to listen.  Think about it for a second.  Put aside all the wives-tales but think about the real things they knew.  As in every generation they got a few things wrong (sometimes really wrong, but let's look at ourselves for a second) but as in everything in my life I like to concentrate on the positive.
     I feel when we lost respect to our elders and chose to ignore them, we made a mistake and there is a disconnect between us.  We are loosing the wisdom that is ours, about our ancestry, our background, first hand accounts of historical moments and so forth.
     This week I will seek out the elders in my family and the community I am in.  I will ask, listen and share respectfully.  I will honor those that lived before me, those that have seen things I never will, those that were on this ship we call Planet Earth a lot earlier than me.
I invite you to do the same and share your stories.
Pablo

2010 IS HERE!!!

2010, a whole new year, it is new, its different and it will be what we make out of it.  Yesterday, as the end of 2009 came close I didn't think about what I've done or didn't do.  Instead I concentrated on being PRESENT to the moment.  As opposed as many new years in the past I had decided to do something new.  I avoided the party route in the traditional sense and decided to celebrate being.  I chose to be away from the city, in the country side.  Being summer here, the sun didn't set until 9ish pm.  I sat on the grass, surrounded by trees.  It was the perfect evening, the sun finally left the stage for a beautiful blue moon, another gift of 2009, a second full moon in a month, 13 in a year.  As I was sitting looking up at the sky and the moon I felt fulfilled.  Earth, or Pacha Mama as it is known by our ancestors, breathing with me, in the trees, the grass, the breeze.  I looked up the sky, being bathed by the clear white light of the moon.  At that very moment a shooting star winked at me.
I thought about what to wish for.  For the first time I realized that my life is pretty good right now.  I reaized that what I want to wish for does not include wealth, material possesions or anything like that.
That got me thinking that 2009 had done a good number on me.  It has brought lessons in my life that are priceless, lessons that came through people, experiences, insights and everything in between.
I am extremely grateful.  Gratitude became a force within me in 2009.  To be grateful is to be aware and present to everything that is given to us, each day.  From the daily meals to the daily lessons.  By being grateful I also became more aware of where I stand when it comes to what I put in my body, mind and soul.  I became more aware of Pacha Mama,the home we have and we call earth.  I became aware that I need to take care of this planet and that it does make a difference.  I learned to be grateful for the bounty of food coming from the earth, fresh, tasty and nutricious.
By being grateful I stand on a place where nothing is taken for granted.  My friends, family and even interactions with strangers become a gift and a message, meant just for me and gratitude has taught me that.
2009 has taught me that I do have a voice and that it can be heard.  When tackling issues that are important to me, I have two options: a) to think:"I cannot possibly make a difference" b) I WILL make a difference.  And guess what? even if the world at large seems unaffected by me trying to make a difference, I am changed by the efforts, so yes, it is worht it to stand up for what you believe.
As I waited for 2010 I was overwhelmed by the good wishes and love from so many people.  I decided to accept it all and to know that love has come and found me and to be present to that feeling and absorve it all.
It also got me thinking that if we would not only wish the best to others for one night, if we were to hold on to that thought, we would change lives.  The power of our thoughts (positive or negative) is not fully understood by us.  Regardless, IT IS.  So, let's keep sending positive thoughts to those we love, to those we hate, to those we don't know, all through 2010 and beyond.
Another lesson from 2009, give, give and give.  And when you think you have nothing left, then give that.  
Let's be grateful, present, inspired and loving.
I, for one, love you. A lot.
Pablo