a minor bump in the road

We all have those moments in life.  Everything is going phenomenal, we are happy, the sun is shinning, love is all around and all of a sudden seems like a big black cloud covers the sky, love is gone and we stumble on a bump on the road and fall.  Well, screw the bump, I was feeling like it was pouring rain, there was no love and I ran head first into a boulder blocking the whole road and fell on my ass in a puddle of mud.

So much for get up and dust yourself of and keep going.  I felt like I had to crawl, de-mud myself, shower and then keep going.  The whole process took 24 hrs, an industrial shower and a fork-lift to remove the boulder from the road.  

Here I am.  Bruised.  Clean. Wide open road ahead of me.

I realize that I tend to make a boulder out of a pebble, a storm out of a drizzle (from a sprinkler mind you) and an epic fall out of a stumble.

Being aware of that, I am working hard to change it, to see that even if there is a boulder on the road, well, what a chance to go rock/boulder climbing!! If there's a storm, how beautiful are the thunders and what better than to sleep to the sound of rain.

I am looking at the world with new eyes (no I didn't get glasses, thank you very much) and will continue to do so each day.

Please join me.

Why do I run? really?

I woke up earlier than usual today, 6:45am and got up and went for my daily run.  It's usually a later affair so it was a different scenario.  I was running on the country side while the local farmers where working their fields, riding their horses and such.  All of them looked at me like I am completely insane.  Can't say I blame them.

Here I am on vacation, ipod on, running like a panther is following me.  The few "inquires" about it made by the locals totally confirmed to them that having lived in the US f*&#ed with my brain and body and I am doing the non-sensical thing of running everyday even though I am far from fat by any definition.

Well, you all motherf*&#ers, somehow we are different.  I know my kind old man that you are in your 80's, eat meat three times a day, mainly somehow deep fried in oil or some kind of lard.  I know you've smoked since you were probably 11 and drink more alcohol that water and have done so you whole life.  And yes, you are in perfect health, never ran a day in your life (unless it was from your pissed off wife when you cheated, or after a run away cow), well, what do you want? a cookie? a medal?

Some of us have to take care of our self and run.  So, top looking at me like I am crazy and f*#k off.

A Charmed Life

I've been told repeatedly in the past couple months that I "have a charmed life", that "of course it's easy for you to be happy and positive when you live the life you live."

It's a sunny beautiful day in Northern Uruguay, I had a great meal, surrounded by beautiful souls and yes, my life it's charmed and happy and beautiful.  I am not arguing that.

What I think people don't see is how much work it takes to be happy and healthy and to have the said "charmed life" as well as the fact that we can all live such life.

I strongly believe that people are happy and everything works perfectly in their life because of such happiness, not the other way around.  Whether you believe in God or a Higher Force, we are here to be happy, use and develop our gifts and talents to help others.  When we make all our efforts to be happy, everything in our life recognizes that positive, happy force as part of God or the Higher Force and aligns itself to help us achieve our goals.  So we can have everything working in our life if we make our efforts to be happy.  It's not that I everything I have and then I am happy, the other way around, I am happy and then everything happens in my life.

There's a lot of hardship in my life, there have been very dark moments when I thought I would not make it to the next day, there has been more tragedy and heartache that I care to mention, but always at the direst of times I remembered: I am not here to be miserable or make others miserable, I am here to be happy, to be light and a beacon of light to others, and I plow forward.

So yes, my life it's charmed, and I work at it every single day.  It's our birth given right, to happiness, to success.  We can all be/have what we want, let's make it happen everyday and inspire others in the process.

p.

Early dinner eh?

I have been in South America for about three weeks, you would think I have shit figured it out, but alas, leave it up to me to be slow on the uptake.

I went for a 3 hour walk today (it takes that much to make a dent on the ridiculous amounts of food I am eating) and then got "home" around 5:30ish.

Right away I got a call from a local friend to go for dinner.  It went like this:

Carolina: "what are you doing tonight?"

Me: (after a pause in which I realized I of course have nothing to do) "nothing."

Carolina:" Shall we go out for dinner?"

Me:"Sure"

Carolina:"Let's go out for an early dinner so we can call it an early night."

Me: thinking "that's about right, walked like I was looking for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow (minus the rainbow) so I can go for an early night for sure."

Carolina:"So you in for an early night with my friend?"

Me:"Absolutely."

Carolina:"Perfect, we will pick you up between 10 and 11pm."

Me: thinking"early night my ass, wtf."

Nothing or Everything, all at once and then some.

I am completely out of whack (what's new?)  Finished reading "The Hunger Games" which it's an amazing book that totally fu*&#ed with my mind and left me thinking and wondering and in awe and revolted at the same time.  It's "purely" fictional and I use quotation marks because it is fiction but the kind that is grounded on reality and amplified, yet the kind that it's around the corner waiting to happen, sort of.  I absolutely hate it when I end up talking like I just did, like I know something, because I don't.

I am proud to say I know very little, to say otherwise would be a big fat lie, you can remind me later, print this out and shove it on my face if I ever tell you:"listen, I know....(shove print copy of this now and shut me up.)

The things to know:

 a) are first thing to discover, I don't want to know what a society thinks I need to know, let me discover it myself.  Hence, since I am still trying to discover what's important for me to know, I don't know much.

b) things, facts, places, etc, change on a daily basis.  The only constant is change, so I do not want to "hold" knowledge from elementary school because that shit might be obsolete.  So I am not going to check my facts every day, I made the conscious choice of "holding" on to very few pieces of knowledge and check on those often. My ADD my have something to do with that but that's another story.

Those of you thinking that now I've started this blog you would be hearing/seeing more about my trip (I include myself in that as it was my intention when starting this): sorry to disappoint.  I am sure you did not expect this ramblings.

Part of why I don't write much about the trip is because I am bitter that globalization has taken so much away and made us all Starbucks/BurgerKing/Gap/Subway bitches around the world.  Yes I am seeing new places, different architecture (golden arches on top of a 130 French designed building? wtf?) but over all we are frighteningly looking like each other, regardless where in the world you go/live.  So I am sitting this one through for a while.  I do not want to be like everyone or dress like everyone or just be another one.  I want my individuality, damn it.

So I am a bit bitter.  Deal, for a moment.  But seriously, think about it.  How different are you from the person next to you? I hope a shit lot.  And if you realize that, why try so hard to fit in? thanks but I'll pass.  

Just because you said the blog was your favourite part....

...I told you I was going to write this one for you but you were gone already.  Gawd, this already sounds like an episode of General Hospital, circa 1972, but I swear it is nothing like that.  However because I don't want to embarrass the person I am writing this for, I will withhold the name.

In all reality I don't even know how to write a blog for someone, it's not like it's a letter and everyone can read it.  So I am just going to ramble, you however know this one is for you.

I was trying to remember when we met and I think it was through your brother who by the time we met had probably warned you that I am completely off my hinges and my heart is not on my sleeve but basically at my finger tips being thrown at people like a ninja star.  On the ninja topic, i realize my constant allusion to the ninjas shows I have some sort of obsession with the little vicious things, but who doesn't?

Anyway, continuing on your blog....oh I was saying how when we met I truly hope your brother had warned you because if not you probably thought I was one hot, messy mess.  Come to think of it, you did (and probably do) think I am some sort of lab experiment. 

Which brings me to the point: thank you for sticking around, being so kind, gracious, nice, fun, etc, etc, thanks for being such a good friend.

I do know I am a lot to handle and you and your brother seem to do quite well on that department.  From naming the Pablo-Wablo 2009 Tour to karaoke-ing with me, to always being so much fun to be around.

So I realize I totally suck at writing a blog for someone.  For what it's worth, I wrote it for you, we will chat on FB soon and I will be waiting for you at Cafe Tortoni.

Big Hug.

P.

My life as a movie.

Lifetime, National Geographic, Starz, HBO, not sure if my life could be a full feature film to be released world wide, I think more of an  HBO special, for sure not a Lifetime crying shit show.  It does help me put my life in perspective thinking about who would be interested in making my life a movie: if the answer is LifeTime, i need to tone down the uncalled for drama, NatGeo, I need to go back to the city and stop being so agro, Starz, things are ok but really kind of shitty deep down, HBO, oh I am cool, things are looking good.  See, it helps, if your life was a movie, what channel would be fighting to buy the rights? put it in perspective.

p.

Touched by an Angel (& not in a naughty way)

I woke up today full of hope and happiness.  The sun is up, the wind bringing stories from far away lands and there's magic in the air.

I realize I am a lucky/blessed person.  I am loved and love intensely.  There are people in my life that are instrumental in "waking me up" every day and reminding me that reality is what I make of it.  I choose to make my reality one where positiveness, love, hope, kindness are the common denominator.  Doing this I  bring people with similar perspective in my life and it makes it a paradise.

Don't get me wrong, i have challenges and issues as well.  However it's different to face challenges when you know they are small wrinkles in an otherwise perfect fabric of life.

Today is "friendship day" in Uruguay and I feel blessed to have the best friends and I do my best to honor those friendships.

Regardless the place, the country, the geography, we all want the same.  We want love, we want peace, we want shelter.  

Some of us are lucky to have those essential things that are our innate rights.  Lots of us do not have those privileges.  We need to start thinking of "us" a big family.  Not of "us" and "them".  We are all in this together.  Let's share our wealth with the rest of our world family that is not so lucky.

WILTW=What I've Learned This Week

So every Saturday it's for the the WILTW day, a day when I look back on the week and see what I've learned, from the relevant to the simply practical.  So, let's get on with it.

• Blogs can be addictive & a great way to share your thoughts in more than 140 characters (still LOVE Twitter though)
• One must never blog while drunk. So far I am doing well on that area but I make no promises.
• When cooking for others, one of the main ingredients must be love & a burning desire to feed others, not only in the tummy but in the soul.  Cooking gatherings are good for the soul if the tone is set right.
• Blood bonds are stronger than the strongest material, nurturing them should be a privilege for which we always should be thankful.
• Across the world, we all want the same thing: love, safety, freedom, our families, friends, nurturing and shelter.  Let's all work together for everyone to have this innate rights.
• It's never a good idea to start the day with an Irish coffee on an empty stomach, don't care what my dear South Americans say.
• Running on the country side it's much more satisfying than within the walls of a gym.
• Love, love, love, love the more you have it and give it, the more you receive it.
• Don't EVER be afraid of loving, it doesn't hurt but you cannot hold it, like a bird it's free.

The writer holed up in a cabin creating a masterpiece....

...it is not me.  Somehow in my cracked up head I always had the idea that for a writer (or one to be in my case) being away from civilization, in a cabin by the fire working away it's the ideal setting.  Well, reality it's a bit different.  The writer in my head is writing on a fat blank book with a quill or writing on a parchment with clothes too big for him and a dim light of an old lamp & the fireplace.  In reality I am writing on a laptop, sweats on by the fire and the comfort of modern day technology.  So, if I must live up to my "ideal writer" even the way I live and dressed, well, then forget it.  I will write something sub par and live with it while still enjoying living in the 21st century.

I'm going back an forth on this story that it's mostly written but then you always find something to improve it and in the process you screw up the rest or realize that just because you improved this one section, then the rest look like sh*t.  So, it's never ending at the moment.

It's hard to get all this facts, all this reality and make it into something that it's true to reality yet has a fictional quality to it.  And now, I am just rambling away.

The sun is tepidly showing it's face, I am by the fire, hear birds chirping (more like cackling away, kinda annoying) sipping some hot tea and obviously needing a distraction from the work at hand.

However, there's some things that must be done, sometimes what you can do for others involves you doing all you can to be aware, work hard and give this work of yours as a humble offering hoping to change the situation of others.

I realize that there's a lot of injustice in this world and I am not a cynic neither I am defeated by the size of the task at hand.  I believe that when faced with a monumental task/issue we MUST not be crushed by it, because if we are, then we cannot stand up for those that need us.  It is a tenant of my life that "you cannot give what you don't have."  Having said that, while I try to help others I realized it's a MUST that I have what I intend to share: love, patience, kindness, happiness, positive attitude, etc.  

So, no, I am not a part time believer in dong good.  It's just that I don't believe that being aware of things that are wrong and wanting to change them demands of me to be gloomy, overpowered by sadness because of all that it's wrong.  That would only lead to make me feel incapable, impotent in front of the circumstances.

Whatever it is that we need to change in our life or help to change in our world, WE CAN. So, let's get going with it and do it.

say cheese

I am sure the "novelty" of writing on a blog will wear of and then I will blog once a month.  I could think I could use this as my journal, but....let's get real: if I were to write in public what I write on my journal, well, I would loose my friends, be called crazy and probably be locked in prison.  So I can only put the edited version of my life here.

I went to a farm nearby today and then came "home" to eat a veggie quiche made of fresh cheese and veggies plucked from the garden.  Well, after that I feel cheated when I look back and think about how the "fresh produce" aisle wasn't really that fresh and the "fresh cheese" was not fresh either.  Not to mention that the quiche from my favourite deli was microwaved and can't compare to the one I just had.

Anyway, the trade off works for me so far.  No Starbucks in every corner but I gladly take the picturesque little cafes with the best espresso ever.  I have yet to figure out how you order just a simple coffee.  Every time you order a "coffee" here you get an espresso.  When I explained I wanted simply a "large cup of coffee" well, guess what? I got the large cup of espresso.  Needless to say that was the day that I walked all over (and I mean ALL OVER) Buenos Aires.

So, let me raise my glass to the cheese and the coffee in this land of abundance.

And now they call me FAT

Among the things that I was reminded when arriving to South America (Argentina/Uruguay specifically) is that people call you fat to your face as the most common thing.  Like when you say to someone "oh, you got a haircut", well with the same non mean spirit people have told me "oh you've gotten ridiculously fat, your face looks like a ballon, good to see you."

Even though I was raised here and should know better, I was taken back the first few times my healthiness was pointed out to me.  Then I remember how when I was a kid, until I was 5 years old I was not simply fat but morbidly obese and went by the nick name of "fatso."  Kid you not, a true story.

I was so fat as a baby that when I was 6-7 months old and could not be bother to move (you make the Micheline baby move) my mother took me to our pediatrician extremely concerned.  She said (as she loves to tell this story to my friends) to the doctor: "he doesn't move, he doesn't do anything, not even follow me with his eyes, does he have down syndrome?" We are not even going to discuss the validity of that question as some of you might still wonder that, but the doctor said:" no ma'am, he's healthy, he's just really, really fat."

So I was also reminded of the strategy that ones take when people call you a blimp.  Few days after I was here I went to eat with some long lost friends (that upon seeing me commented how fat I was) and proceeded to not want to eat much saying :"well look at me, I am a rhino, I can't eat or I'll explode." Of course they went ahead to tell me how I am not really fat (duh!) just have a "full face" and I have "grown into my frame", blah, blah, blah.

All along I was laughing inside.

Bottom line: who cares? and exactly because that's the healthy attitude in most people in this parts of the world it's why they can look at you and say: "god, you are fat."

What's in my head?

Many times i have been asked what's in my head, well, just had a realization: it's probably not in my head anymore but on a tweet, text, facebook wall and now a blog.  So What used to be completely on my head it's now spread on line in different places.  Kinda makes me think of the internet as a continuation of me which it's creepy and exciting at the same time.

Many people told me they wanted to hear about my misadventures while traveling in South America.  Writing a journal but I can't share that with all unless you all get in a plane, come to see me and decide to spend time reading my boring entries instead of taking in the sights, hence the blog.

I cannot say I will try to be funny as that never really works, apparently I am funny when I don't know it or even try.  Kinda like "the joke's on me" and I am not aware of it.

I have been in South America for 11 days now and it has been good all along.

Landed in Mexico City, raided every restaurant near the airport and loved each one of them as well as discovering the local beer "Indio".  The people of Mexico is nothing but kind, funny, friendly, etc, etc.  I am sure there are some shady ones but don't we all have the shady cousin?

Then I stopped in my old stumping grounds: Sao Paulo.  Brasil WINS!!! People there are just always so happy and pleasant, regardless of what their situation in life, from the homeless guy to the guy in the Mercedes Guardian, all so happy.  One day I will become an anthropologist and do a research on that.  What? I have time and can still become an anthropology researcher.

Finally made it to Buenos Aires (thanks to Brazilian airline TAM, best in the world, try it and then tell me).  Don't know how the pilot landed because there was a a heavy fog that wouldn't let you see two feet in front of you.  So when I was ready to be part of the real life LOST (I would be the Sawyer of the survivors, come on, let me have it, I let my hair grow for that purpose) we were on solid ground.

Buenos Aires has a particular smell to it, of city, of people, of the nearby ocean, it's a living, breathing beautiful place, decorated with amazing architecture, little bars, tango seeping from the seams, just a magical place.

Talking about magical places, I should get up and shower, cause at this point my smell has nothing magical to it.