I need to take a deep breath right now. Today has been one of those emotional days where events keep happening, pulling you and pushing you, adding up to the breaking point where an epiphany happens or where you just break down and cry. Both happened.
I am the kind of guy that does not wear my heart on my sleeve, it's actually in my hand, ready to be given out. I believe guys do cry, I allow myself to FEEL, to be moved, to be weak. I believe it takes a stronger guy to actually cry than to hold back. I'm not concerned about how that will be read by others. I am only concerned with being true to myself.
I was watching the news, or the bad news as rarely ever there's any positive thing worth a highlight it seems. Let me bring you up to speed. Three days ago, in Buenos Aires a woman withdrew 20k from the bank. As she was getting out of her car at home she got approached by two thieves that took her money and shot her. She was 9 months pregnant. She miraculously survived, had a c-section and her child is alive. Both of them are in ICU. Then thewy showed this footage of this poor neighborhood that has been flooded. People were already living in bad conditions. Then I see them carrying their babies and children and one or two bags of belongings with water up to their waist in the freezing winter time.
Later as I checked my email I got one from a friend telling me her friend was unhappy with himself, with who he is, because he is gay.
At this time I think I need to be distracted and decide to see what movie is showing on TV. Ha! Motorcycle Diaries. Amazing movie. Touching and eye opening. So even I have seen it before, I watch again. My heart is already cracked.
Then I ran into this article about a child in Malawi, you can read it here and the overload seem evident.
I have learned a simple truth. When life presents you with a lesson and you don't learn it, it will keep on coming back, wearing a different pair of pants. So here I am, with life's lesson in so many different assorted pants.
I get it. I do. There's injustice, there's suffering, there's ugliness we do to one another, there's ugliness we do to ourselves, there's pain and suffering in this world. Then, we are breathless and wonder: "now what?"
Right after that question I cried. I cried for the mother to be being shot and having hers and her child lives hanging on a thread. I cried for those families flooded, that might or might not have a roof over their heads as I type. I cried for the kid that can't love himself as he is because he was told by us that gay is bad. I cried for all those orphans in Malawi that might not have a chance.
But those tears are also tears of thankfulness and gratitude. I am alive, I am healthy, I have a roof over my head, love in my life and I can do what I want. You know what? I truly get it, life is telling me: "you are lucky, why don't you give others a hand?"
I can't do it all. I can't change the world on my own. Or can I?
I think we all can. If we change our immediate world, imagine the ripple effect and how far that can get? I can care for others, I can love without conditions, I can look out for those around me, I can feed someone, I can shelter many.
Let's not allow injustice to freeze us, to become a common place we are insensitive to. Let's raise our voices. Let's start each day taking notice of all we are given and finally, let's just give a little back.
It's ok if we cry.
P.
It's true there are so many sad things in this life and it's terrible what has happened to the mother and her child thank god they are still alive even if by a thread. The people in the floods the orphans, my gay friend so many twisted things.Yet you are right there is so much to live for, love for be thankful for. I try to help as many people as possible in ways that I can. For the gay friend I listened to him as he cried tonight and complained about who he was and how he had hoped he was really straight. I explained how I had hoped I was really skinny when I was young and did everything from starvation to excessive diet pills and laxatives. Yet at some point I realized what I was really doing and I wasn't hurting anyone aside from myself. It is hard to love all of yourself at times when society tells you it's correct to be straight or correct to be skinny or whatever. At somepoint many people have hang ups yet at the same time you have to learn to love and accept yourself as is. It takes a strong person to be willing to lay all their emotions out to cry does take strength it's easier to deny and bury. I don't watch the news because it depresses me. It's odd that with the many good things that happen they are rarely reported. When I have a bad day and I am feeling sorry for myself for being sick or broken or whatever I think about all the people who are enslaved, who are homeless, have no food ect. It always puts my little woes into perspective. I also think it's important to help everyone you can reach and these days there are so many within grasp, the ripple effect is happening here and now pass it on
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