Nobody can

"Nobody can make you feel bad without your permission." Paulo Coelho


I've had a few interesting days. Days when I seemed to have lost my center and be like a balloon drifting away, no direction, just carried away by the drift. When this happens I know is time to slow down, turn off the "noise" around me and really listen to myself.
When I quieted down, when I put aside all the stimuli and sat by myself, things started to be more clear. It has taken me three days to understand what I am doing or not doing.
I've realized that I have allowed situations and people make me feel bad. I do mean allowed. No one has the power to make me feel any particual way unless I give it to them. I thought I knew this and was living by it and then here I am, realizing that I let my guard down.
I understand I cannot make everyone happy, nor do I want to. I understand that when standing my ground for my well being first I might come across as callous or not interested. What I didn't understand that even though I was living life that way, I had allowed others make me feel guilty or bad for being the way I am.
It is really hard for people to understand (myself included) that the world is not centered around ourselves. So when I tell someone: " I am not ok with this. I will not do that" it's not about them. I am not out to hurt them. I am taking care of myself. I will remind myself not to allow others make me feel any particualr way when I KNOW that I am doing what's best for me.
As I said many times, I cannot give you what I don't have. I need to be well, happy, centered, kind, full of love, then I can share that with you. To be in that place in my life, I need to set boundaries, they have nothing to do with you. If you choose to feel a certain way and blame it on my behaviour, well, I have no power over that. I wish you didn't give that power to me or anyone. It is yours. It is sacred.
When you give the power over your own emotions to others, you also give the responsibility.
I won't. I won't allow you to make me feel any way I don't choose to feel. I do take responsibility for it.
It's a freeing thing. Give it a try.