a minor bump in the road

We all have those moments in life.  Everything is going phenomenal, we are happy, the sun is shinning, love is all around and all of a sudden seems like a big black cloud covers the sky, love is gone and we stumble on a bump on the road and fall.  Well, screw the bump, I was feeling like it was pouring rain, there was no love and I ran head first into a boulder blocking the whole road and fell on my ass in a puddle of mud.

So much for get up and dust yourself of and keep going.  I felt like I had to crawl, de-mud myself, shower and then keep going.  The whole process took 24 hrs, an industrial shower and a fork-lift to remove the boulder from the road.  

Here I am.  Bruised.  Clean. Wide open road ahead of me.

I realize that I tend to make a boulder out of a pebble, a storm out of a drizzle (from a sprinkler mind you) and an epic fall out of a stumble.

Being aware of that, I am working hard to change it, to see that even if there is a boulder on the road, well, what a chance to go rock/boulder climbing!! If there's a storm, how beautiful are the thunders and what better than to sleep to the sound of rain.

I am looking at the world with new eyes (no I didn't get glasses, thank you very much) and will continue to do so each day.

Please join me.

Why do I run? really?

I woke up earlier than usual today, 6:45am and got up and went for my daily run.  It's usually a later affair so it was a different scenario.  I was running on the country side while the local farmers where working their fields, riding their horses and such.  All of them looked at me like I am completely insane.  Can't say I blame them.

Here I am on vacation, ipod on, running like a panther is following me.  The few "inquires" about it made by the locals totally confirmed to them that having lived in the US f*&#ed with my brain and body and I am doing the non-sensical thing of running everyday even though I am far from fat by any definition.

Well, you all motherf*&#ers, somehow we are different.  I know my kind old man that you are in your 80's, eat meat three times a day, mainly somehow deep fried in oil or some kind of lard.  I know you've smoked since you were probably 11 and drink more alcohol that water and have done so you whole life.  And yes, you are in perfect health, never ran a day in your life (unless it was from your pissed off wife when you cheated, or after a run away cow), well, what do you want? a cookie? a medal?

Some of us have to take care of our self and run.  So, top looking at me like I am crazy and f*#k off.

A Charmed Life

I've been told repeatedly in the past couple months that I "have a charmed life", that "of course it's easy for you to be happy and positive when you live the life you live."

It's a sunny beautiful day in Northern Uruguay, I had a great meal, surrounded by beautiful souls and yes, my life it's charmed and happy and beautiful.  I am not arguing that.

What I think people don't see is how much work it takes to be happy and healthy and to have the said "charmed life" as well as the fact that we can all live such life.

I strongly believe that people are happy and everything works perfectly in their life because of such happiness, not the other way around.  Whether you believe in God or a Higher Force, we are here to be happy, use and develop our gifts and talents to help others.  When we make all our efforts to be happy, everything in our life recognizes that positive, happy force as part of God or the Higher Force and aligns itself to help us achieve our goals.  So we can have everything working in our life if we make our efforts to be happy.  It's not that I everything I have and then I am happy, the other way around, I am happy and then everything happens in my life.

There's a lot of hardship in my life, there have been very dark moments when I thought I would not make it to the next day, there has been more tragedy and heartache that I care to mention, but always at the direst of times I remembered: I am not here to be miserable or make others miserable, I am here to be happy, to be light and a beacon of light to others, and I plow forward.

So yes, my life it's charmed, and I work at it every single day.  It's our birth given right, to happiness, to success.  We can all be/have what we want, let's make it happen everyday and inspire others in the process.

p.

Early dinner eh?

I have been in South America for about three weeks, you would think I have shit figured it out, but alas, leave it up to me to be slow on the uptake.

I went for a 3 hour walk today (it takes that much to make a dent on the ridiculous amounts of food I am eating) and then got "home" around 5:30ish.

Right away I got a call from a local friend to go for dinner.  It went like this:

Carolina: "what are you doing tonight?"

Me: (after a pause in which I realized I of course have nothing to do) "nothing."

Carolina:" Shall we go out for dinner?"

Me:"Sure"

Carolina:"Let's go out for an early dinner so we can call it an early night."

Me: thinking "that's about right, walked like I was looking for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow (minus the rainbow) so I can go for an early night for sure."

Carolina:"So you in for an early night with my friend?"

Me:"Absolutely."

Carolina:"Perfect, we will pick you up between 10 and 11pm."

Me: thinking"early night my ass, wtf."

Nothing or Everything, all at once and then some.

I am completely out of whack (what's new?)  Finished reading "The Hunger Games" which it's an amazing book that totally fu*&#ed with my mind and left me thinking and wondering and in awe and revolted at the same time.  It's "purely" fictional and I use quotation marks because it is fiction but the kind that is grounded on reality and amplified, yet the kind that it's around the corner waiting to happen, sort of.  I absolutely hate it when I end up talking like I just did, like I know something, because I don't.

I am proud to say I know very little, to say otherwise would be a big fat lie, you can remind me later, print this out and shove it on my face if I ever tell you:"listen, I know....(shove print copy of this now and shut me up.)

The things to know:

 a) are first thing to discover, I don't want to know what a society thinks I need to know, let me discover it myself.  Hence, since I am still trying to discover what's important for me to know, I don't know much.

b) things, facts, places, etc, change on a daily basis.  The only constant is change, so I do not want to "hold" knowledge from elementary school because that shit might be obsolete.  So I am not going to check my facts every day, I made the conscious choice of "holding" on to very few pieces of knowledge and check on those often. My ADD my have something to do with that but that's another story.

Those of you thinking that now I've started this blog you would be hearing/seeing more about my trip (I include myself in that as it was my intention when starting this): sorry to disappoint.  I am sure you did not expect this ramblings.

Part of why I don't write much about the trip is because I am bitter that globalization has taken so much away and made us all Starbucks/BurgerKing/Gap/Subway bitches around the world.  Yes I am seeing new places, different architecture (golden arches on top of a 130 French designed building? wtf?) but over all we are frighteningly looking like each other, regardless where in the world you go/live.  So I am sitting this one through for a while.  I do not want to be like everyone or dress like everyone or just be another one.  I want my individuality, damn it.

So I am a bit bitter.  Deal, for a moment.  But seriously, think about it.  How different are you from the person next to you? I hope a shit lot.  And if you realize that, why try so hard to fit in? thanks but I'll pass.  

Just because you said the blog was your favourite part....

...I told you I was going to write this one for you but you were gone already.  Gawd, this already sounds like an episode of General Hospital, circa 1972, but I swear it is nothing like that.  However because I don't want to embarrass the person I am writing this for, I will withhold the name.

In all reality I don't even know how to write a blog for someone, it's not like it's a letter and everyone can read it.  So I am just going to ramble, you however know this one is for you.

I was trying to remember when we met and I think it was through your brother who by the time we met had probably warned you that I am completely off my hinges and my heart is not on my sleeve but basically at my finger tips being thrown at people like a ninja star.  On the ninja topic, i realize my constant allusion to the ninjas shows I have some sort of obsession with the little vicious things, but who doesn't?

Anyway, continuing on your blog....oh I was saying how when we met I truly hope your brother had warned you because if not you probably thought I was one hot, messy mess.  Come to think of it, you did (and probably do) think I am some sort of lab experiment. 

Which brings me to the point: thank you for sticking around, being so kind, gracious, nice, fun, etc, etc, thanks for being such a good friend.

I do know I am a lot to handle and you and your brother seem to do quite well on that department.  From naming the Pablo-Wablo 2009 Tour to karaoke-ing with me, to always being so much fun to be around.

So I realize I totally suck at writing a blog for someone.  For what it's worth, I wrote it for you, we will chat on FB soon and I will be waiting for you at Cafe Tortoni.

Big Hug.

P.

My life as a movie.

Lifetime, National Geographic, Starz, HBO, not sure if my life could be a full feature film to be released world wide, I think more of an  HBO special, for sure not a Lifetime crying shit show.  It does help me put my life in perspective thinking about who would be interested in making my life a movie: if the answer is LifeTime, i need to tone down the uncalled for drama, NatGeo, I need to go back to the city and stop being so agro, Starz, things are ok but really kind of shitty deep down, HBO, oh I am cool, things are looking good.  See, it helps, if your life was a movie, what channel would be fighting to buy the rights? put it in perspective.

p.