But above this, I wish you LOVE.

As the rest of the mortals in this world I am shocked and saddened about Whitney Houston's death.  I remember being on my bike and having a CD of The Body Guard as I raced through hills and just tried to understand that the voice I heard was actually human.  What. A. Talent.
Then I grew up, still with so much respect for Whitney and realizing sometimes great talents came with a big bag of WTF.
As I grew as a person with my own demons to fight I took the 'I shall not judge' stance.
I've lost over 5 close friends, to diseases, called drug addiction or depression.  I alsmot lost myself in the mix. Yet I had friends hell-bent on not seeing me dead, and they succeeded. Today, we hear the sad news that Whitney Houston died.  I can't help but to wonder, how many of the people tweeting/FBking about that have reached out to their close friends and family and said: Are you OK?
I am sad along everyone else on this planet that enjoyed and appreciated Whitney's talent, however, if your friend is not a celebrity, are you as willing to lend your support?
I AM.
I LOVE. LOVE SAVES (it has saved me)  It is hard and heartbreaking to share condolences, but apparently is harder to go to those you love and say: 'hey, it's ok, we WILL get through this together! I love you unconditionally.'
In this time and age when everything goes viral I BEG of you to help me make LOVE go viral. Tell those around you how much you love them, encourage them to do the same.  We are NOT Whitney, but we are all LOVE worth.
Please, SHARE the LOVE.
p.
I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.

Action movies and different languages.

I remember my mom telling me once action movies where her favorite ones.  It struck me as an odd choice.  I asked her why, she told me that those were the movies she could watch with me, and even if she didn't understand what was being said, or the subtitles moved too fast for her to catch on, she still could follow what was going on. You see, my mom and me sometimes speak different languages.  I grew up speaking Spanish, English and Portuguese.  As the years went by I didn't see a problem switching from one to the other. My mom grew up speaking her one language and then as an adult tries to adjust to a new language. 
I am more than thankful for all the opportunities my parents have given me.  I realize now that sometimes, a lot of times, I am too wrapped on myself to show them how much I love them, to speak, watch movies, and say 'I love you' in a language that makes it clear how deeply I feel about that.
Today, a friend draw my attention to this poem.  I cried. I realized I've been a selfish brat, in any and all languages. I plan on seeing movies other than action ones, and in a language my mother understand.
Please read below this beautiful and heartbreaking poem by Pat Mora:

Elena

My Spanish isn`t good enough
I remember how I`d smile
Listening my little ones
Understanding every word they´d say,
Their jokes, their songs, their plots
Vamos a pedirle dulces a mama. Vamos.
But that was in Mexico.
Now my children go to American High Schools.
They speak English. At night they sit around the
Kitchen table, laugh with one another.
I stand at the stove and feel dumb, alone.
I bought a book to learn English.
My husband frowned, drank more beer.
My oldest said, 'Mama, he doesn´t want you to
Be smarter than he is' I´m forty,
Embarrased at mispronouncing words,
Embarrased at the laughter of my children,
The grocery, the mailman. Sometimes I take
my English book and lock myself in the bathroom,
say the thick words softly, for if I stop trying, I will be deaf
when my children need my help.


Pat Mora

What If Feels Like For A Girl

Girls can wear jeans,

and cut their hair short.

Wear shirts and boots,

'cause it's ok to be a boy.

But for a boy to look like a girl, it's degrading,

'cause you think that being a girl is degrading.

But secretely you'd love to know what it's like,

wouldn't you?

What if feels like for a girl.

                                                                        Ian McEwan, The Cement Garden 

I read "The Cement Garden" a few years back.  Its a non-stop ride, shocking at times, the kind of book that draws you in, makes you cringe and you can't stop reading.  The quote I posted (which Madonna uses at the beginning of her song of the same name) its what stuck with me from the book.

I don't think I ever stopped to really think what it's like for a girl, I understand it is different and well, I always left it at that.

Yesterday, through a friend I ran into a website that not only made me think of what it feels like for a girl, but to a degree helped me to have a glimpse of what that is.

The website open with "A place to treat bros like girls" and as I started perousing it, I found picture upon picture of men, men with perfect bodies/skin/hair/fashion sense...you get the idea.

As I looked at all those perfect men, I caught myself mentally comparing myself to them, realizing how I don't have the perfect body, skin, hair, clothes.  The more I looked the more I kept on comparing.  And then it dawn on me: Im a grown ass man, I have (thought I had?) a somewhat understanding of who I am, I am comfortable with my body and soul and even then I caught myself thinking that maybe I need to loose weight, lock myself in a gym, go clothes shopping.  Immediatly I realized how hard it is to be a girl.  To have unreal images of what pretty/cool is thrown at you since you are a child.  To be seen as an object, a "pretty one"or not.

Ladies, to all of you, I salute your strenght, your inner power and beauty. 

P.

p.s. if you are interested in the website : http://youareanobject.com/

2009 Picture Flashback

Having a drink with Scary Spice in Las Vegas:

THE POWER OF THE WORD ( & our irresponsibility)

Pheeewww! what a day. A sad one. By now we are all aware of what happened in Tucson, Arizona, of the shooting, the deaths, the tragedy, and those fighting for their life, including Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords. Its not something I can personally come to terms with in any level.  I am also resigned to the fact that I might never know,  I will never know what happened. Not for a conspiracy theory, but a much simpler fact, I will never be able to know what was in the shooters head, why or anything of the like.  To me it´s another senseless act of violence, one that like many others should not happen.
As everyone else I am also aware of the political background and how this tragedy IS being used for the benefit of some and the detriment of others.
I was very vocal on twitter about my indignation about what was on Sarah Palin´s website as pretty much a political hit list. It was taken down from her website but you can se a screenshot here .  I was vocal about my indignation.  Some people took it as me tainting a tragedy with political undertones.  Couldn´t be further from the truth.
Do I think Sarah Palin has anything to do with this shotting? NO. Do I think by her having a "political hit list" she encouraged violence? I don´t know. Do I think she is absolutely irresponsible with her words and sometimes actions? YES.
First of all let me assure you this has nothing to do with politics. To me the issue is people in the public eye, with a voice heard by millions, she is a politician, she could be an actress for all I care. My problem is that none of us understand, realize or respect the sanctity of the word. With our words we can create or destroy, you do it, I do it, everyday. I tell you "you look good today" or "you look like shit" and there´s a consequence to that. Our words are magic, we choose to use them as white or black magic.
So what really drives me crazy is that people in general, and specifically people that are public are so careless with their words and what effect they might have. No, Sarah Palin has no doing on this, but I personally think she is accountable for the message she is spewing. Personally I don´t  think is clever, funny, creative to have a political "hit list." Im semi sane. Did she (or any of her advisors) stop to think what a disturbed, mentally unhealthy person would make of that? They probably did after the fact, hence taking the post down.
My frustration is not political, is a frustration from the pit of my stomach that us, as "evolved" beings DO NOT take responsibility for our actions, let alone our WORDS and the implications of that.
So, yes, I am pissed when I look at this picture:

To me it says "I am not aware of the power I have over people. I am not aware that what I say might be misconstrued. I did not stop and think what the implications of the way I CHOOSE to use my words might have. I don´t care."
You have your opinions and beliefs and I respect them. I expect the same from you. And yes, I have thought and chosen my words as carefully as I can.
P.

HABIBI "darling, something is wrong with your head"

You are looking at a still from the film HABIBI by the talented director and dear friend Susan Youssef. What? You haven´t heard about it? Well, that is because the film is in the final stages of being completed.
    I am going to tell you about my love for Susan and for this "baby" of hers.  Before embarking on this labor of love, Susan had succesfully made five short films. I met Susan at the Sundance Film Festival while I was working there and she was screening her work.  I cannot tell you how we met, or any other detalis. To be honest I don´t remember them.  We kept in touch and in 2006 she was screening her short film "Marjoun and the Flying Headscarf"  I remember that we wanted to meet even if for a litte time to catch up.  I was running from screenings to press confereces, to some other non sense and I am sure she was equally busy, but we manage to arrange a time to meet. THAT, I remember quite well.  It was snowing in Park City, it was freezing cold, I run into the Frontier on Main venue and we found a place to sit and chat. To the day I remember that clearly, because I was running into the place to meet her and was supposed to run to be somewhere else after. The moment we sat to talk and she started telling me about HABIBI and I looked into those big beautiful eyes I just could not be rushed, I could not rush my conversation with her, nor did I want to. Passion is a powerful force, when paired with following one´s dreams, well, its simply unstopable.
I left her with the certainty that for as a daunting task it is to make a film IN Gaza, raise the money and actually seeing that through, Susan would do it.
    In todays day when independent filmmaking is such a common place, we sometimes forget what truly is to make a film independently. Susan´s work on HABIBI has been such an inspiring way for me to remember, not only what it takes to make an indie film, but how we CAN make our dreams come true, only if we are willing to sacrifice and work. A lot.
    Over the years since my conversation with Susan in Park City I have stayed in touch, I have cheered her on, I have asked, I have been in awe. She did raise the money to go and actually shoot the film in Gaza. Let that sink in for a minute. She raised the money and actually shot her film in Gaza.
I am lucky enough to have a good relationship and sometimes friendship with many talented filmmakers, people with a true passion for their craft. I usually don´t go out there, yelling from the rooftops how great they are.
    This is different. I have and continue to see Susan battling it out for this film to be completed, for her voice to be heard. Trust me, it needs to be heard.  The film is done for the most part. She just has the last stretch to be done.  I am going to let her tell you herself. Before I do that, I am going to ask you something simple: Do you have dreams? Did you ever run after them? Are you still dreaming? How woud you feel if someone helped you along the way?
    Keep those questions in your mind, then just click HABIBI and hear from Susan herself.

                                       From me, a heartfelt THANK YOU!
                                                                                         P.



P.S. For more detailed information on the film, please visit the official site http://www.habibithefilm.com/

2011 is here, am I?

I haven´t blogged since last year.  I just didn´t have anything to say. The last 3 months of last year were the culmination of a year of rebirth, reflexion, being humbled and learning, learning, learning.
I have let myself open to being taught (even if sometimes its rough teaching) by life what I need to know.  So far, it works greatly.  Many times I founf myself under different situations that were not what I wanted, or the best of situations. I learned to look at those situations as learning opportunities. I changed "shit happens" to "lessons happen"  That changed my way of facing situations, instead of cursing up and down and asking Zeus (or the deity of the day) "what the ....?" I started thinking "what am I missing?" That made a whole lot of difference. I started recognizing a pattern where things happen because I need to experience them for my own personal growth. And yes, I am learning from it.
Just in case that concept wasn´t clear with me, the "get it now" moment happened on December 31st, 2010.  I had been thinking I need to be more in the HERE, wherever that is completely as opposed as being here but twitting, texting with friends and sometimes wondering or day dreaming of being somewhere else.

As December 31st came closer to an end I was on a fever of texts, tweets and not being present to the moment. So, since I already had a clue but was not acting upon it, life took it upon itself to show me how´s done. A few hours before midnight my phone just simply kicked the bucked. At first I was a bit upset. Then I chilled, looked at the situation and smiled. I was now going to BE present. And I did, I had a wonderful evening, I saw the stars, the fireworks, danced until 7ish in the morning. No tweets, no texts.
I realized that al my numbers and some texts I had saved were gone. But I also realized that my friends and family are always near. The text messages I had saved were gone, but the love and encouraging words are there, shall I choose to talk to them and be present to out time together.
Im glad the phone is gone, giving way to a new appreciation for NOW.
Are you HERE, NOW?
P.